Saturday, March 30, 2019

A little something about Change


Oh ja, i will also do a little piece about change – which is a topic that was brought up and is here for us to share on within the weekly points to blog/vlog about – and it is funny, cause in doing that, i am walking and living a little point of change. Let me explain.

When i first read the email with the topic i thought „Oh, cool topic, maybe i will do a blog about it – i should do a blog about it“ - yet i had something else to do at this point, like prepare and leave for work – so my thought and the good intent with it was suppressed and never realized lived. Also when i first looked at it, i was intending or thinking about writing about the „dramatic and drastic changes“ that can come up and be there to face within ones life, where one has built up a point to such an extent through acceptance, allowance and participation that it is here for one to face, inevitable as consequence. 

For instance allowing and accumulating backchat in a relationship or negative reactions towards ones work, that one build up, till it becomes a breaking point and one and so ones life „has to change“, (sometimes) in a traumatic way. So this is actually a forced change where self is forcing self through self-separation and self-dishonesty to eventually „change“ … or repeat the pattern until one change. It´s a way of change...yet not suggested. (note to self.)


So what i am doing here, is writing this little blog piece is „changing my perception“ of how and what a blog must be, that „i must know beforehand what i will write“ and „it must sound good and perfect“ - to something where i go with the flow, with what is here and change my perception and action in alignment with what i see is best IN THIS MOMENT. 

No procrastination. Here, in this moment i act and live a point i see can contribute to me, my life and so others as well.

Another perception i am changing within this is that „Writing a blog/something concise and supportive must take loooong and is a lot of effort“. No – i am writing like 11 min now and i enjoy it, it´s easy.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that opportunities for change come „unexpectedly“ and can not be „forseen“ or „pre-mediated“.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that i can not „plan“ or „project“ my change as this is me participating in the mind, thinking about a illusionary future of „who i will/should be and how i will/should act“ instead of living the moment as self in equality and oneness with what is here and presents itself.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace unforeseen opportunities of change – instead of seeing and realizing that this is the essence of my process – i can not see/premeditate the opportunities/moments of change as that would be „mind“, i can only prepare myself TO CHANGE (with writing, SF, Self-commitments) and then actually DO IT and LIVE IT, when IT IS HERE.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that i will test my self and my change/s in many unforeseen moments to see, show and prove to myself that i ACTually change.

I commit myself to realize that i create my own change and opportunities to change.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that all projections, ideas, thoughts „about change“ „in the future“ are irrelevant and self-deception.

I commit myself to embrace opportunities of change/to change a point or pattern within myself/my behaviour – when that opportunity opens up – and to ACT on that opportunity in real time when it is here as me.

I commit myself to snap myself out of it, when i see that i am projecting, imaging, fantasizing about change within my mind – i breathe and walk potential moments of change here in the physical into a eventual realization of change.
Nice, i am satisfied - this is a document of living my process of change.

(Inspired by Carlton Tedford´s: Day 810: Let’s Talk Change (The Ongoing))