This
blog was inspired by a moment of seeing that i went into judgment
for not keeping a commitment to consistently write for 21 consecutive
days about a particular point – when i looked at the moment of
making the commitment, i say that the fear of failure/falling in my
commitment was already there in the moment of decision as a „integral
part“ of the commitment.
I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to fail at
something
I
forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see,
realize and understand that the fear of failure is a system mechanism
through which i prevent myself from realizing and living my
potential.
I
forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to from the
get go when starting, doing, beginning something new, accept and
allow the fear of failure or falling to be a part of that decision
and so i accept and CREATE the EXPERIENCE of FAILURE and Falling
while in FACT - in Life -, there is no matter of failing or falling
at all.
I
forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see,
realize and understand that that which i might perceive/experience as
a failure/mistake/disfortune in one moment might be a door into a
whole new dimension/perspective/aspect of my self or world that can
open up for myself by embracing without judgment.
I
forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see and
realize that everything is in reverse, we are „the fallen“, a
fallen humanity, fallen gods and that all those „external“
„achievements“ or „successes“ i can try to create and define
myself to are in fact „small, limited, dimished“ to only one
aspect of who i am, are in fact „substitutes“ for Self, my
beingness, awareness – thus, whenever i fail at something external
and that throws me back onto myself...it is not in fact bad, it might
be „good“ if it brings me closer to me/self-equality, because all
those external points are only „one-point-manifestations“ where
when „achieving it“ or „succeeding“ i experience my SELF for
a moment, yet it does not last – it is a Substitute for Self.
I
forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to program
myself with the program of „Fear of failure/falling“.
I
forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deny, hide
and suppress the fear of „failing and falling“ within me
every time i start/begin/do something new and then the whole time
doing it – because then i can continue to see/experience myself as
„succeeding, committed, brave, getting somewhere“ IN MY MIND,
while at the same time working against myself with/through/as fear of
failing so that i do not fully have to take responsibility for
„actually doing/making it“.
I
forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel
righteous in/as the fear of failure/falling, where i look at my past
and go „Yeah see, how often you fucked up, how you fucked up, why
should it be different this time“ not seeing that this is more a
judgment, that the energy of judgment is connected it and i am
looking through this judgment at my past and so all i will see are
„mis-takes, failure and barely-made-it`s“ instead of realizing
that all those experiences where already formed within and from a
starting-point of judgment and fear of failure/falling.
In
this, i forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to
see, realize and understand that i am separating myself from physical
reality and life within making projections or expectations that only
exist within my mind, meaning that i become a illusionary
character/personality that tries to make real/fulfill an imagined
point in reality and if that does not work out for some reason, as
this character i judge/blame and punish myself within the believe
that the „imagined point is me“, never considering what is/would
be actually best for all in a moment or point.
I
forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see,
realize and understand that the fear of failure/mistakes is actually
a application of me as the mind that knows/sees that it does not know
and does not have control over reality/life or how things play out,
yet still tries to gain control – it is imposing the illusion of
control.
I
forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace
and welcome the „Uncertainty“ and „Insecurity“ that physical
life in this world holds and brings.
I
forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to
notice/see how boring and repetitive Life would be if „everything
was certain/secure“.
I
forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to put value
on the „outcome“ of doing/starting something new, instead of
realizing and living the value in who i am within each step and each
act within/as the process/path of doing something new.
I
forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the fear of
failure/mis-take to be a constant company within whatever i do/did in
my life and so i have never allowed myself to truly live and do what
i was doing to the fullest expression and potential of myself, in
self-trust, confidence and joy, but always on low flame, overshadowed
by fear of „failure, loss, mistakes“.
I
forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to limit and
diminish myself within the fear of failure/mistakes not seeing or
realizing that the fear of failure/mistakes itself is a application
of me as a limited character within/as my own mind.
Commitments
to/for Self:
When
and as i see that there is a fear of failure/falling within me,
before i even start doing something/when i decide to do something –
i stop and breathe – i realize that this is a flag-point to check
and correct my starting-point because who/what is experiencing this
„fear“ by acceptance and allowance is me as a character in and as
my own mind in separation of me here – thus, i take the
responsibility to in that moment align my starting-point back to my
self, here as life and i commit and walk from that starting-point to
align, substantiate, support and grow myself as life as who i really
am – in that i realize there is no failure or mis-take as i am
already fallen from who i really am - Thus i take a breath and give
myself permission to re-engineer this failure of/as separation into a
expression of equality and oneness with and as life.
I
commit myself to no longer use and abuse the fear of failure/mistakes
to stay in my comfort-zones or to justify giving up on something.
I
commit myself to realize and remember that in equality there is no
failure/mistakes – it only exists in the human mind, and is a
product of limited value/morality judgments imposed by a
mind-system, copied and trained by those that has gone before it –
which is why we tend to repeat the same mistakes over and over again,
unless we change and re-program our minds/selfs in a self-directed,
self-responsible manner to assist, support and serve us.
I
commit myself to let go of the program of fear of failure and the
judgment connected to failure/mistakes, as i see, realize and
understand that in essence it is not real, its an illusion i impose
onto myself as a mind-character, that i have chosen to play.
I
forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to „like
failure“
I
forgive myself that for accepting and allowing myself to like seeing
myself as a failure/mistake and imposing judgments as punishment
onto myself for „failing/mistakes“ and apparently being a
mistake/failure.
I
forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to like seeing
myself as a failure/mistake and for playing the
failure/mistake-character, because in that i can judge and pity
myself and in that abdicate my responsibility for who am and what i
do/accept and allow.
I
forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see and
define myself as a „tragical mistake/failure“, where i will stay
and wallow in that state and character instead of moving myself out
of it.
I
forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to decide to
play the failure-character to escape responsibility.
I
commit myself to when and as i see that i identify with or define
myself as a character of failure/mistake, to stop, take a breath and
move myself out of that character experience as i see and realize
that it is a character in/of the mind, not who i truly am as life.
I
commit myself to go beyond the concept of failure/mistakes as thought
in our schools and systems facilities and to disconnect and release
failure and mistakes from the energy connection of judgment.
I
commit myself to set myself free of the judgments of/for past
failure/mistakes – and instead give myself permission to live each
day fresh as a new life in absolute self-trust that i have and will
integrate what i have learned in/from past failures/mis-takes as past
lifes and thus live this present day to my utmost potential free from
fear.
