Self Forgiveness
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am
not able to explain my own experience of myself to me instead of realizing that
this is in a way abdicating my responsibility for myself as a creator not
wanting to see how I have created what and why - either deliberately or through
acceptance and allowance
I forgive
myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that experiences that I
believe that I can not explain and talk about with others in plain terms are
points/parts that I want to protect and keep secure because I have defined them
to be “who I am”, what makes up my ego as a way to survive in this world in
ignorance of what is really going on – Keeping me contained in a mind-bubble of
and as separation
I forgive
myself that I have not allowed myself to see that those apparently special and
unexplainable experiences are most deceptive because within and as them I generate
hope that someday, somewhere I will find the ultimate answer, the ultimate
solution – for myself – and all will fix itself in a moment without realizing
that I am one and equal to the problem thus I am the solution as well
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for a answer and
solution to and for myself somewhere outside of myself – instead of answering
myself right here in realizing and living self-response-ability one and equal
to myself where I do no look, search and seek to find myself in conditioned
experiences of myself that was/are of mind-participation and have become mere
memories that I defined myself with and as
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse me by accepting and
allowing the mind to trick and deceive me with memories of good
feelings/love/light/oneness
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep and want to keep such
memories as points of hope that everything will and must someway turn out right
– I felt it, you see you just have to wait and walk at the end of the tunnel
there is always the light
I forgive
myself that I have not allowed myself to see that the light is the complete
annihilation of who I really am as a physical being – annihilation by the
system of the mind with the feelings of love and warmth, happiness apparently
guiding me home instead of realizing that to which this simply leads is: death
I forgive
myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realize and really face that the
with light construct was a physically manifested system in which I participated
and that I as a human physical body existed in and as – making myself believe
that just because I suppress this or call it different, do not actively
consciously participate in a religion or spiritual practices I am/was not
involved
I forgive
myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I have created fuelled
and participated in a concept of heaven, a personal heaven and in this I
forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am in this
equal to all religious people or spiritual beings that want to get to and
experience their heavens
I forgive
myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that in thinking and
believing that I can not explain or speak about experiences or points: I want
to protect my Heaven and Hell as Ego
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I
would lose myself if I explain the experience of myself and clarify memories/experiences
to myself and others thus stay alone, isolate myself – trapping myself in my
own creation, actually as a form of resistance as self-righteousness,
stubbornness and resentment for not wanting to admit that I was dishonest and
the creator of my experiences
I forgive
myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my not speaking and
explaining myself to my partner, friends and parents in times of self-created suffering,
breakdowns, fears was purely Ego as self-righteousness, stubbornness and resentment
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I have
a special connection to some kind of higher power
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I have
a special relationship with some higher power somewhere outside of myself
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that there
are higher powers that I can connect or relate to – not realizing and seeing
the separation and polarity that is implied by the words higher, connection and
relation and that I have not allowed myself to realize that in this I believe
and accept that I have no or a lesser power and I need to get power from
somewhere outside separate from me trough a relationship or connection which is
self-conditioning and self-limitation
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from power
I forgive
myself that I have not allowed myself to realize and accept myself as physical
power
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that there is such
a thing as mind-power that can be high or low with is the whole foundation for
egos power-games in the mind – projected into the world as a whole as conflict
and fighting, wars murder, rape, physical and mental abuse
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in and as
power-games as ego for and in which I believed that I need to have mind-power
to win, instead of realizing that ego-power-games are a illusion of the mind
and I make them real - I give life to it- trough giving my power away to the
mind
I forgive
myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that in the search and desire
for power I have given my actual physical here power of myself away to the mind
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself with-in the
desire and search for power
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept uselessness as me
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the perception of
powerlessness as me
I forgive
myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that the search for
god/light/a higher power was a form of accepting that I am to weak, I have no
self-power, no self-will – because I have abdicated and given away self-power
as well as suppressed self-will through continuous acceptance of self-denial
and self-abuse – looking away from reality to see and follow a dream, instead
giving me power back here and willing me to stand up for myself as all as one
as equal
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I do
not have the power to voice me
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I do
not have the power to express me
I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I do
not have the power to stand up
I forgive
myself that that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that to express
me, voice me and stand up I do need nothing more than the physical ability to
move the involved body-parts – and no mental or mind power
Self Correction
Unexplainable
Experiences/Memory
I realize
and accept that experiences that I believe I can not explain and talk about
with others in plain terms are points/parts that I want to protect and kept
secure because I have defined them as “who I am”, what makes up my ego as a way
to survive in this world in ignorance of what is really going on – Keeping me
contained in a mind-bubble of and as Separation
I realize
and accept that experiences that I defined as special and
unexplainable/mysterious are most deceptive because within and as them I
contain and keep alive a hope that someday, someway, somewhere I will find the
ultimate answer, the ultimate quick-fix – which is a way to avoid and not take
self-responsibility in being the solution to, for and as myself here in acting
now
Instead of
searching and desiring for answers and solutions for myself somewhere out there
I answer myself: I realize and accept the ability to respond as equal to myself
and thus I live self-responsibility
Whenever I
think/believe/say that a experience or memory is unexplainable to me and/or
others – I stop and breathe- I realize that I want to protect this memory as a
part of my ego as what I have defined myself. I realize that this is
Self-dishonesty. I will not any longer allow myself to deceive myself with
waiting and hopeing for finding the ultimate answer that will explain to me
everything – I take self-responsibility, open up, explain and release the
memory in self-honesty and self-forgiveness
Light/God –
Spirituality/Religion
I realize
and accept that identification as light/god –being of light/god/energy- is the
complete annihilation of who I really am as a physical being – annihilation by
the system of the mind with the feelings of love and warmth, happiness
apparently guiding me home
I realize
and accept that following the light –instead of guiding me home- simply leads
to: death
I realize
and accept that the white light construct was a physical manifested system that
i as a being in and as a human body
existed in and as
I realize
and accept that each human being was part of this control-system placed as
“god” even if I have not actively and consciously participated in a “popular”
religion or spiritual practice
I realize
and accept that I have created, fuelled and participated in a concept of heaven
within and as me – a self-defined personal heaven
I realize
and accept that in this I am equal to all the religious people or/and spiritual
beings that want to get to and
experience their heavens – and thus I am equally responsible for the existence
– as acceptance and allowance – of the heavens, white light and the separation
from and denial of the physical reality
I realize
and accept that in the desire and search for the illusion of my personal heaven
I have neglected and abused my physical reality/world as my environment as well
as my human physical body
I realize
and accept that there is nothing or no-one in existence that is no part of me
as me equally as I am it or them
I
investigate the words religion and spirituality within and as myself
Whenever I
want deny or refuse to see that I have participated in religion/spirituality
when I think “I have nothing to do with this” or “Not again this topic” – I
stop and breathe – I realize that I have deliberately avoided and denied the
points within and as me to not face what I have done/allowed here – I
investigate all the dimensions of how I have lived and participated in this
points
Whenever I
experience a going blank a retreat of myself when this topic is brought up – I
stop and breathe – I realize that I feel guilty and regret/shame because the
point exist within me and I have not investigate myself and stood one and equal
with what I have accepted and allowed. I bring myself here and face and work
with the point in moment – I do not allow myself to accept and allow
shame/guilt in me as this is of no use
Higher
Power
I realize
and accept that here exists no power that is higher or lower that I could
connect or relate to because that would imply separation
I realize
and accept that there exists no power in separation of myself
I realize
and accept that if i desire a higher power/god/light I must see me as and judge
me as to weak and that the very search for such a point to exist validates my
self-definition as to weak/useless/powerless
I see and
realize that the search and desire for a higher power/god/light to exist
dis-empowers me
I realize
and accept that in ego-power-games I give my power away to the mind and
actually I am playing them within myself against myself only – the relationship
is an accepted and allowed illusion that I give life to through participation
I realize
and accept that to express me, to voice me and to stand up I do not need more
than the physical ability to move the involved body-parts – no mental or mind
power
Whenever I
think that I need “more power” “mental power” – I stop and breathe – I realize
that to do, to express, to voice me and to stand up I do not need more than the
physical power as the ability to move the involved body-parts as a
equal-expression of self – I realize and live self-power as an equal and one
expression of me
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