2012 – Why was i able to hear the Desteni-Message

This is quite an interesting question because basically everyone is or should be able to hear the message of Equality. However we can clearly see that this is not the case and that in fact the message and the points that go with like the Equal Money System and Self-forgiveness, Self-honesty and Self-correction are often faced with resistances. And that’s the whole point…lol Ego resists Equality. So, how come that I was able to hear the message?

One point that comes up when I look at my life/way before this point was that I experience it as kind of inevitable – endstation. In the year or so before I found Desteni I was starting to “search” again to kind of find a way or the truth about what is life and what is real, a point or a desire that I have buried at some point in my life as well as the concern for and interest in what is going on in the world as a whole.

Lets have a look: it’s a little over 2 years that I found a portal-interview on the Mayan-Calender and on the 10.01.2010 I wrote in a booklet that I in 2007 used as a travel-dairy on a holiday with a friend in Sri-Lanka and then converted to a trip-book where I would notice and write about my “drug-experiments”:

“2009 was partly a quite cool, emotional year with lots of up and downs respectively emotionally between sky-high cheering and deadly aggrieved/sad (Yes, that’s quite fitting). Lots of hopes, lots of dreams, lots of drugs, projections but no fulfilment and completion. Lots of opportunities and presents but only acceptance if there was no other way…and then again anger and self-pity because I have realized and moved so little”

So, that was funny to write because of seeing the polarity-swings in it and the extensive nature of my mind-fuck at this time … and within this the acknowledgement that this are still my points to work with.

At this point in my life I have gathered quite some experiences and played various roles: relationship, sex, drugs, partying, knowledge, school, job, studying, addiction, meditation, travelling, imagination, positive thinking, psychology, reading, isolation and jet nothing was really satisfying or nothing I did for real – nothing lasted and from a perspective I knew that all of this was empty and is only method and way for me to get something, to manipulate myself. So going through a lot of various experiences such one could call “positive” and such one could call “negative” I am still on a journey a search. Actually I am quite desperate in the days of finding Desteni walking around getting emotional and crying over a past relationship and regretting and feeling guilty for my participation.  

On some day I was looking for documentaries for mayas after taking San Pedro cactus the day before and somehow “stumble upon” the portal-interview on the mayan-calender. As far as I can remember I was not hit by it because I had not special idea or believe about it however found it a cool explanation I think I remember the point that not the world is ending but simply the program running out. I started to watch more videos and got very fascinated and “blown away” from the start. To bring in another point or two was that at this time and as a parallel and outflow I started to check out the maya-calender - not to serious but just like a point of interest and a horoskop-typ of entertainment, but it reveals how I like and want to have reverence in separation as a direction a point that I as mind can relate my experiences to and justify with – and with it came a interactive application “MyWay – The eagle sets him self free” where I would receive a e-mail every day for 21days with a story about an eagle that has to transform himself by braking his beak, scuff his claws and pull out his feathers to survive another 30 years. I point is obviously based in Spirituality and achieving a “personal Freedom ”, however for me it was cool to at all reflect and work/write about myself on a daily basis at this time – but again the point was placed in separation seeing myself through the metaphor of an eagle where also a outcome of freedom and greatness in some way is suggested, and the material was feed to me so no self-directed application –

This was one point, the second was a book that was brought up by “coincidence” which was the “Impersonal Live” that made quite an impression on me with the application of “Be still - and know - that I am god!” and also the point that there is only one self and that is equal to life and that I am it.

So, my experience with watching the portal-interviews was in the beginning being blown away and like a mind-stop, listening and it hit immediately home after the interviews. While I could relate to most of the videos, there where some that I had specific experiences/resonance with that I had/saw within the world or/and myself. Mother Nature on how the we destroy the Planet, how nature is suffering. Her common sense touched me. “What you are doing is abusive and hurts – Would you please stop!”

Also the Story of Hitler was a real eye-opener for me. On some level I was always wondering like “Why has he done this / How is such to explain” because the usual condemnation what one learn at school or books could not really give perspective or explain such behaviour – what I found as well as other characters like bush, gaddafi etc. – and within what he has revealed I could see and understand myself better, what is an ongoing process, for example in the terms of hatred for the systems and also the point of that one only sees the demons/ego in others and what to fight it without realizing that in this one becomes a demon as self.  

Another was Lao Tzu on Oneness and … obviously a lot more I mean the material I is so vast, that I have to admit that I have only read and watched a small part yet … the whole History of Mankind Series!! I mean wow this is obviously a revelation! I remember watching video after video after video but also there some stood out – The One where the human form was designed and the Systems placed in by/with the Sirians … that was like a real Haha-experience and a opening as connecting the dots.

Or ghosts and Ufos. What I can see is that this points where all somehow present and of interest somewhere in my past as with the Ufos for example I was have some memories of reading about Ufos wondering if it is real. At some point family members and I got all exited of having possibly seen a Ufo. The same with ghosts, I had like books about unexplainable things “The great Mysteries of our time”.

The System thing/theory was as well a point that I found in literature and made it to one of the made it to a basic foundation of my world-view – We are systems, consisting of Systems, existing in Systems – however here I could understand and still have to realize and live as myself that: They where placed there – Life is more than – The systems are to enslave.

This is cool, because I find that this believe as knowledge and information that life exists as and consists of is still existent within me. So: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that Life exists as and consists of Systems only – instead of realizing that it’s the other way round that the systems are created from life and thus exist as and consist of life

In this time I established then also the understanding that “God” is everywhere – from the System-theory as mentioned and another such “realization” in terms of knowledge and information that “nothing is solid” when looking at a table and hearing the teacher saying that the most space between the atoms is “empty” – for me this was like a revelation that Wow the table is not really real, it is like fluid and rather consisting of the connections and empty- It seems I have been possessed by and created myself as a knowledge-system-demon …fuck- so I was running around for sometime with maybe 19 years or something and euphorically stating “God is in this stone, God is here, you are god, I am god…every atom is god” –wow also interesting this brings up a point of a polarity-manifestation of a “negative” possession of a being within my world and my reality at the time who had after/on a trip the experience that everyone is watching him and following him, satellites, the government, the military everyone is watching him and out to get him…I feared/judged this being at the time and judged him as wired – yet it was quite the same only with a polarized Omen. Fuck this is interesting, because actually he was showing/revealing to me that which I tried to suppress – as the fear of being controlled.   

What was missing in my understanding of Oneness as God is everywhere was the Equality as one can see in the example above I wanted to always escape the apparently negative and separate myself from it. I ignored the suffering in the world and actually beneath I was quite spiteful in this delusion: I would for example say or justify/explain that “If I throw away food here, I in fact do something good for the starving people in Africa – Because maybe a stork or another migrant bird comes, picks it up, flies to Africa shits there and so the fields will be fertilized” – In essence it is the same as to send love/light and warm prayers for the suffering people in the world, a justification to look away – Ignorance.

Obviously one can try to suppress and ignore suffering within oneself and the world – but only for soo long and it will come back and this is like the second point or part that I see of why I was able to hear Destini was that I created and went through a lot of shit experiences in my life from losing my drivers-license, drug-addictions and withdrawals, breaking up relationships, arguments generally lots of self-abuse. I kind of was ready to hear the message because I saw that my previous ways where obviously not working and I the common sense that Desteni was presenting I could understand/see. As well those other beings are already walking and changing themselves. And in the end Oneness and Equality Principles are common sense. I mean “love they neighbour as they self” “give to another what you want to receive” thats how it should be already and should have been from the beginning. Life should not be a fight and strive for survival! Thus I will continue with walking the process of self-forgiveness and self-realisation with Desteni to stop the mind within and as myself. Its like there is a lot more to say or write but I will leave it at that for the moment.
Thanks to All!