2012 - Albert and me

Albert and me

In this post I want to look at Albert Hofmann, the discoverer of LSD and my relationship with him and his creation and the role it has played in the creation and support of my self-religion. Fascinating, because over the last week I was often looking at the point and I was and am astounded how much this person has resonated with me and/or how much he actually was a type of guru for me – obviously I would not admit or even realize this. So, where to begin?

The first time I heard the name “Hofmann” as I was sitting with my cousin on a bench and we where reading a document on “How to make LSD” – it was a specific document with all the steps in the syntheses and I was quite impressed by the complexity and the required equipment/material and that it was discovered in a official legal lab with all the required apparatus and stuff. I/We had only a small chemistry set …lol. This was when I was about 13-14 years old and besides some other beings occasionally mentioning “Hofmänner” referring to acid-trips for the next years this “point” was silent.

This scientific approach and the recognition - and I nearly want to say fame - that he received in public, made the whole point of LSD and “sacral drugs” like acceptable and seem “serious” – when I look at it more closely it seems like he has set a whole trend and shaped a “way of dealing with drug-experiences” with the notes and the description of his first trips. Obviously not completely alone as there where others like Huxley or Schultes busy on this field before, but he added this “scientific charm” the perception that everything is in control. This made the point “trustworthy” – lol, like DR. Hofmann says… and he also had this white labor coat…then you MUST trust him it’s a Scientist – and I mean the first “documents” that I have written about the experience of myself were such “trip-reports” – besides love-letters which is on some level similar- and how it has played out in the world is that you have various different “drug-forums” and “psychedelic networks” where beings post their “bicycle-rides” and describe meticulously their drug-experiments and experiences.

I see this that I have copied a lot of this and one driving factor within it was also the point of creation. The believe that with this drug, with acid, he has created something exponentially awesome and that this was “his creation” so within this there was the hope/believe that one/I can/might find/discover/create something that is even more awesome and would really, actually deliver bliss and in this help humankind and obviously also myself. Its really interesting to see how I have accepted to believe such… when it was a deluded point from the beginning: In the title of the “LSD my problem child” is implied the believe that it was really “his creation”, lol and right now I am looking at the cover of the book, how he holds the molecule in his hand…he seems quite proud of “his problem child” – My Creation!- lol and this is also the point that he will take with him in his grave…

Interesting, that when I put myself in the shoes of a “drug-designer” i would justify what I am doing with such an believe that I am actually doing something good for others in creation numerous compounds always searching for “the ONE” that will enlighten myself and others.

Actually the point is quite obvious when I read of “promising” properties, promising for what? Medical value and promising for application in psychiatry…and as Dr.Hofman was originally searching for a drug to support in the process of birth. It’s also fascinating to see how this point has played out since then where now it has come to the point where we have hundreds of “designer-drugs” and with the internet a whole industry proliferates. The obvious motives: MONEY and status.

  

The point that I found so impressing and awesome/inconceivable was the small amount of acid that will cause a very strong effect, however as I was reading through quotes of A.Hofmann last week or so I found exactly this statement - which means that I simply have copied and accepted this fact as something “unexplainable” and “extraordinary”: I used this statement quite often when I wanted to explain my “fascination” with drugs. What this point actually proves and shows is that we are existing in and as a mind-system and that the mind is the directive principle of us, when a minor amount of a chemical compound can change and transform our whole perception and concept of reality and in this that this “reality” of consciousness is not in fact real.

 And this is also the point that is missed and that I missed myself: that also the drug-experience is not real but of the mind, a mind-experience.

And here starts the trouble really, because instead of realizing that the whole consciousness is somehow not real but a illusion this “altered states of mind” are being seen as more real than physical reality.

From a perspective these drug-experiences in a kind of “scientific way”, meaning where one is taking notes, writing trip-reports, varying doses and compounds, were/are a attempt to control the mind. Set and Setting is adjusted so that hopefully a blissful experience is achieved that is than often called and seen as “a transcendence”, however what is not considered is the starting-point for the experiment which is of a desire and thus of the mind.

That is like a program trying to change itself, not realizing that it is programmed to desire to change itself. Or desire to change ones experience not realizing that the one that desires –oneself- is programmed to do so, self-programmed with the search for oneself who is already here. RE-search… lol...put in a drug and the concept of drug-research is born. Searching for oneself with-in and through a drug.

This is the “dilemma of the scientist” that as a scientist one is looking only at what is happening, what is the outflow of a certain set up situation, but not looking at oneself and the own pre-programmed starting-point of self-interest: He interprets in separation of himself.

I read “LSD – Mein Sorgenkind” in school, while school and I see that this was a way to separate myself from my reality, at this time I was like already heavy searching and involved with drugs. One of the points was that he describes his mystical experience as a child and this resonated “deeply” – that was what I was searching for. It is very interesting because i see that such experiences that I described in my the “Magical Mystery Mindfuck” were of the exact same content of what he described and when I read this now, actually I have the same reaction as a experience within myself, where “I know exactly what he is talking about” and I can literally experience the picture he paints. Such points are actually pre-programmed and of symbolic nature which means that similar pattern resonate with each other as we all are programmed in and as symbols – a point that is to a extend still knowledge and info for me. I have to watch the reptilian-interviews again.

The Point that Hofmann was actually “my Guru” starts making much sense now, where i have simply trusted him or rather what he represented. What i can see within is how “in the west” science has become a religion and the scientists its priests.

  With their own symbolism and rituals … a believe-system based on thought, words and deeds. Thought to create theories/ideas, words to spread and fixate them and deeds to prove them as “right”.

The white labor/doctor coat being the “robe of a priest” in our economic system. The theories about atoms and molecules with their pictured or manifested structures presented as prove that Science apparently understanding what is here and what “holds the world together” so to speak - the ultimate “success” being the decoding of the DNA. 

The "Guru" with all his famous "diciples" 

Wow, how could i be so blind to not see this?

So, all in all what I was actually trying to do in taking psychedelic drugs was to recreate and relive childhood-memories of bliss, oneness and communion with nature and the whole which was also the starting-point for Albert Hofmann to relive the “wonders” of childhood through a “wonderdrug” and within this it seems to me that when we are trying to find “drugs” that can “cure” “mental illnesses” what we are really trying is to find a cure for yourself, for our own disenchantment, for our separation.

The actual questions, however is never asked: How come that I/we are completely “disenchanted”? Is the world a place of “wonders” and “enchantment” for all? Or a lot suffering and pain for most people, what are the reasons for this situation, and will this stop with LSD?

The real world that is here beyond the perception of our mind-bubble is hell for lots of beings that are staving, being raped, being killed everyday. We destroy, devastate and exploit the planet and abuse the animals and plants in various ways – So when we are really here with all other beings as equals than this world is simply not “wonderful” at all!

This and more degrades any form of “psychedelic bliss” or any mystical experience of wonder and enchantment to a self-interested desire that keeps one going – a carrot on a stick- within just another religion of self.

Enchantment:

enchantment [ɪnˈtʃɑːntmənt]

n

1. the act of enchanting or state of being enchanted

2. a magic spell or act of witchcraft

3. great charm or fascination

We want to be enchanted, when actually we are already under the magic spell of the mind which we find very charming and fascinating when it whispers the most outrageous stuff in the H-ear. Why? The word “enchantment” is charged positive, it´s not seen or realized as just another mind-control-experience. A positive judgement/charge on the word does not allow one to see clear. So enchantment is a temporary spell of the mind as an experience that is judged as positive as a polarity-exception to the usual mind-experience of self as “disenchanted” -   Live was “wonderful” as a child…

No “wonder-drug” will “save the world” or even oneself because such an approach is always based in separation as self-interest …lol where the drug becomes the saviour LSD=Jesus=god. The only way that we can create a world that is best for all is as ourselves. Where live is truly “wonderful” for all, not only for a minority with the money. Such a world has to be based on a system that supports every living being with what it needs to live a dignified live, where we do not allow that abuse of life exists which is what the proposal of Equal Money is all about. One step within this is to drop the hope and desire for a quick fix as a drug and also the realisation that within this “psychedelic phase” of my live I was in fact participating in a religion…shocking…”sacral drugs”  lol.