Not so far back in time i saw Selfrealisation as something "positiv" from the pespective of it being this great experinace which i would seek and run after in various way yet it was completly undefined and i did not see that i acctually fear self-realisation.( Yet this fear was there, for example with taking drugs i would most of the time dose low to "stay on the safe side" as experianced what a high dose can do in terms of alteration of mind - I want to have my fun but i must have it under control). I created a imagination/picture of what selfrealistion is based on examples like Osho, Jesus, "Masters" and their teachings and experiances that i or friends mostly including drugs have made. So i was busy designing my own little experiances of bliss/realisation out of my idea of how it must be... I was simply fixiated on "this mangificent Experinace" that only existed in my mind that i would not associate it with fear. Why should one fear Selfrealistion! That`s what everyone wants!
So now in the context of Equality and Oneness Selfrealisation is no experiance. Selfrealisation is to realize myslef as all of existence - not just knowing it and understanding it - but realizing, making myself real in every way so that i stand as One with and equal to all in fact.
What does that mean?
Currently i live as a human being and in this i think/believe/percieve i have a human pysical body and i think/believe/percieve i walk with my human physical on the earth that is separate from me because - look i can jump in the air - the air i breath and think/believe/percieve it to be something separate that consists of a number of separate manifestations as different gases and dust, water, pollutants and other.
I think/believe/percieve myself to be separate to the plants and animals and i think/belive/percieve that i am separate to the other human beings on this earth - even from my neigbours and moreso from the beings on the other side of the world or complety different situations.
In Fact there exists no separation
Inbreath - the air fills the lungs - it becomes part of my body
Outbreath - the air leaves the lungs - it becomes the air that surrounds me
Only this i "This I think/I believe/I Percieve" is in separation. It is not even sustainable it is a possible function of the human physical body an outflow created through and as energy actually it is not even a function of the physicalbody per se but of the mind-system within humans. So why the fear of realizing self as all of existence?
Basicly it is quite simple:
Realizing oneself as life means that this "I think/I believe/I percieve" has to go it is simply lost in expansion and what is remaining is what is really here as the physical reality from which have separated myself into/as ego.To remain in the limitaions of what "I think/I believe/I percieve" about myself a fear is created.
Otherwise this means to face what i have acceted and allowed to exist/manifest here as myself and equally in/as the world. Which is then the next point: Selfresponsibility
So the primariy point:
Fear of loss/Fear of death
Losing the ideas/believes/perptinons of myself
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