Yesterday i have walked my first day at work. I came to the shop quite on the spot of time. Two other beings started to work on the same day and our boss like showed us around and explained to us what is what and what to do. So with the one being i had quite some reaction comming up of "she is a nerd, trying to impress the boss and/because she is fearfull/wants to present a nice face but actualy is in ego-competition with the boss" and then later on with working i noticed with myself who i try to be as fast as i can and some thoughts in the context of competition and also money came up = fear of survival. At the end of the shift the being and me where in one area together and i was done with my work. And what was interessting that i was then asking here to help her with her work - but here the point of superiority as "they are so tense/fearful/strikt" was present but also the point that i wanted to particepate and brake the ice and connect but as i asked for the name i experianced a axiousness and a personality/Ego-blanked and i also feeled rejected by her because she seemed uninterressted arrogant within only saying "aha"

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel superiour to the being at work because of her behavior towards the boss, instead of realizing that i actually wanted to take over the attention of the boss for myself
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to always feel in control of the situations
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myslef to judge the being at work in the context of work and money and compare myself in the polarity of superior/inferior in terms of work and getting things done, instead of stopping the points in breath
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my own survival in the context of the money-system and thus think and believe that i have to prove through being better/faster than others that i am worthy of having the job
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that this fear and wanting to impress that i judged another/the other being for was in fact my own anxiety and believe that i have to prove myself based on a thought of the boss of us all that told me "if xy sees that you are fast and effective in work she will give u more work and shedule u accordingly"
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge being z as axious/tense/competing when it was actually my accepted and allowed point that i supressed instead of faced. So i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myslef to accept conflict and fighting for survival within myself and than manifest it into my world as ego/superiority
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear for survival
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to apply myself in work from the starting-point of fear for survival
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see the beings at work as competition that i have to be superior to and that i have to beat and be better than, instead of realizing them as  me as physical beings here as equal
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that this fear is not real and not necessary - i trust myself - i have the ability to simply walk this work and what i have to do here as my pyhsical body in breath without having to make myself superior to or compete to others!
Whenever a fear comes up or a judgement about myself - i do not supress - I take a breath bring the fear here and embrace it as me I stand up within the fear and release in the outbreath- I am here stable and do what is best for all in the moment
I stop and let go of attemts to impress the boss
I stop and let go of competition in and as the context of fear of survival