Sunday, November 13, 2011


"Freechoice is to KNWO the world is abusive and then to do nothing to change it" - Bernard Poolman

So, today i wanna dicate myself to this statement and look how we participate in this choice. In my live i have often done exactly this. Exatly seen that and how i exist in and as abuse and than turned a blind eye to the situations which eventually lead me to isolate myself pretty much. One cannot face abuse and do nothing - either one takes the opportunity and does something to change the situation or one separates oneself into the mind and use all kind of believes and definitions to not responde...actually it is a response, no its a reaction one programs oneself with to not responde but isolate

Looking at world there are more dimensions to this word, as you can see for example the "internal world", "personal world", "world of ur familiy and friends", "old world", "new world", "third word" or "this world" which would encompass all of it. In all of this worlds exist abuse - and we see this, yet we do not change it, we accept and allow it. We decide to ignore it - actually we do everything possible to not see, to not hear to somehow get along and cope with this shit - beause of fear of actally standing alone, of standing up in full awareness of what is here, what we have accepted and allowed within and without.

The internal world is the domain where the real evil and abuse houses, as apparently no one sees what we think and exist as. In our head we believe to have freechoice because "its my mind, i can think what i want "  "this can not harm anyone" and so we allow all kind of Stuff. In and as the mind i kill, i rape, i possess, in the mind i am a fucking-god, in the mind i deny, i hate, i desire, i fear, i am a accendet master, in the mind i hate but i am also Jesus - and we think this has no consequenzes - stuff we would or could not practically, physicaly live.  It has Consequenzes and brings about what we see within this world as what it exists, as we are creators - everyone creating as what is accepted and allowed whithin, yet we have a mind where we can suppress and hide the truth of ourselfs so that we actually believe ourselves to be "a normal person/ality" - the "Freechoice" to accept the abuse within our minds has the conseqenze of building all kinds of beLIEves into a Personality structure to hide behind - We live a lie if we accept the "Freechoice to KNWO the world is abusive and then to do nothing to change it" in and as our mind.

Family and Friends, oh my, the freechoice to accept and allow abuse in relationships is quite point that "hits me hard" because i have on several points then turned into the opposite direction of changeing - because i have been hurt, i was abused from my persective i went into revenge and abuse "I will only fuck with you" in this i have basically decidet to separate myself from my emotions to exist as this single-pointed desire, were my outflow was the to manipulate myself within various form - physically, emotionally, drugs - to get what i want. Projected you have "They only want to fuck with u" and this believe i have applied to judge everything and everyone (nearly)- SO the outflow of this is/was that "i dont give a shit about others" and through this i allowed even more abuse - I wrote nearly because one/two beings i "trusted" -lol- Its these close relationships "for ever" that i allowed the most abuse with and from. Long story short - The freechoice to allow abuse in my world of relationships instead of changing lead me to indifference, isolation, ignorance as consequenzes.

Yesterday i was quite shocked of how ignorant and uninterssted i have become with the things that happen in and as this world - The occupy movement atm, were i watched a few clips and reacted very strongly to the Propaganda and the "Stupidity of the people" yet i reacted because i have allowed myself to numb myself to dream and sleep away in Ignorance=bliss to not face the Nightmare that is here - WAKE UP


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