Thursday, September 8, 2011

Writing 08092011

Ok it is really time for me to get to some points of my experiance in my workingspace/place. First of all there is often this feeling also thought that am infearior/wired/laught at. I also have often thoughts about a worker that has worked with me in the beginning an"shown" me some stuff - the dishonestys and unspecificetys of the work/methodes - and compare myself with him also was reminded by my chefin: "U did this ... there was another how did this also" I know she did not like him. however not the exact reason why - he was a "intellektual religious misfit" did not fit into consumerism but stopped then working to go to a monastory.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel inferior to my co-workers and less then them so i have to obey them and their rules or methodes
I am here as equal with my coworkers
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think i have to obey their rules and methodes to be accepted and liked
I forgive myself that i have accpted and allowed myself to compare myself to my co-workers and especialy with E.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge E as wired and an intelektual religious misfit
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being compared to E and see as wierd
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give value to what other people think of me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being talked about behind my back because i see this happening with other beings
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others for talking and hating others behind their back instead of seeing that i do the same within my head about them in judgeing them as participating in Ego - -lol- in this fuckin myself into a state of separation trough knowledge
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as others

Till here and no further! THIS IS MYSELF-I DECIDE WHO i AMI stopp- I will no longer allow myself to
judge myself and others in my mind - Not trough my own thougts or jugements and not with the shit i have accepted to take from others. Whenever i see myself thinking about anyone or judging someone I stopp see what this presents my about myself - i face myself - and forgive myself unconditionally. I remain here as silence as sound

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