Writing 17092011

Today i sleept about ten hours or so and with awaking quite imediately judged myself for oversleeping, which was rather masked in "what do others think of me"-thoughts - so i projected my self-judgement onto others and then blame them for judging me and apparently causing the experiance of myself - I am the source and origin of my experiance -NOTE IT MIND-

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be "perfect" already
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be/act moral, judging me for even a point of sleeping
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to see that i jugde myself from the starting-point of fear of doing something wrong and fear of making a mistake in process
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to apply moral in my life on myself as my process from the desire to be good/perfect=fear of making mistakes instead of realizing that this is again defining myself according to my mind
I stop judging myself according to shoulds/should nots in relation to process - This is self-manipulation according to my mind - I do not allow myself to manipulate myself through judgment to fit my "Idea" of myself - If i have made a commitment or spoken/given my word to myself or others i will simply walk/do what i have to live my word

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to project my own self-judgmet onto others with thoughts of "what do they think of me" or " Are they ... now in realtion to me" instead of taking "what they think" or " what they  .... " back to myself and forgive myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use and abuse others as a screen for my projections=self-judgments so that i can blame others for what i accept and allow as self-abuse within myself
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to acctually make myself believe taht others are judging me when it is me the whole time that is judging myself
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for apparently being the cause for my experiance within myself insted of realizing and accepting myslef as creator of my experinace and therefore look and see into me how i have created the selfjudgement and over time a specific experiance

I do not any longer allow myself to think and blieve that others are judging me and/or care for "what they apparently" think of me to delude myself in the believe/perception that "they" are the cause for my experiance within. I stop and breath whenever i blame others or make others responible for what i am experiancing.
I stand up from the blame, see into me and investigate why and how i have created this judgement about self and stand up from it in self-forgiveness